The Same Old Things

The past 18 months have brought major change to my life; the most necessary and difficult change has been closing my coaching business.

My first paying job at age 16-18 was playing the organ for military post church services/choir. I then helped pay for my college expenses by working 15 hours a week, and--after the ten years of my first marriage--supported myself through graduate school & two internal corporate jobs before starting my own business at age 50.

So even before covid-19 hit, I'd already begun the process of grieving the loss of connection with some very fine, intelligent, caring people and moving from extrinsic to more intrinsic motivations for finding joy in each day.

It has taken a while to release the old voice telling me I should be working hard and working fast, letting myself simply BE, and--especially since isolating in response to the pandemic--appreciating the Tapir Totem, which brings comfort doing the same old things without self-criticism (tapirs lead almost exclusively solitary lives).